hmph...

i was determined to get an early night, but i ended up just laying there, AWAKE.grrrrr. it's my birthday soon & i'm feeling the old creeping into my bones... i need somethingto help me resurface my inner drag queen - i thinkit's about freaking time i went out [properly... corset & all] againfound something online... cool hair for the weekend & lovely new lashes![that doesn't mess with your weekday corporate style] - mat... hint hint hint!russet fantasy falls want want want!mac's frosty lashes mmmmmm lashes!

resolution status :: needs improvement

ok, reading past entries, i came upon my resolutions... let's see how i'm doing so far, shall we?- eat less junk food - check! so far, i've lost 8 pounds!- exercise more [or at all would be a start] - check! [endurance is coming back to me quickly]- see more of my friends, not be so neglectful of them - uh, gotta work on that one- throw away my hermit-ways - see above- get a great job & kick ass there so that they all love & adore me [so i don't LOSE the job i resolved to get] - still looking, although i've been doing a bit of freelance stuff- not let my uber-independance destroy my relationships - check! i'm actually taking the time to GET TO KNOW my boyfriend... hmmm- go boarding... LOTS - uh, see jobless [aka: broke] resolution- get back into kickboxing [no, not that girly aerobic crap] - again, see jobless resolution- be [only a little] less vain - i'm scaring myself... am i getting too old for *true* vanity [nothing a night out & a rib-crushing corset won't fix!]?- try new things [i've always wanted to take bellydancing classes] - again, see joblessnessok, so i still have LOADS to work on. don't rub it in.

lovely weekend...

Had a fabulous weekend with mat... strange, after being together for over three years, i am finally making the time to really get to know him. He's even lovlier than i realized... and his BRAIN ---- ooooooh, yummy brains!recap ::friday night...we went to the harvard exit & saw City of God ...a Brazillian film i thoroughly enjoyed..... i can't help but feel a bit guilty about enjoying this film so much. i know i *should* be disturbed by gun-toting children and slum wars [and i was, but not enough to dislike the film, by any stretch]. it certainly was thought provoking, and i certainly enjoy a little thought-provocation [uh, always]Afterward we went to the Blu Bistro for drinkies & got to sit in the buddah room - it was sooooo tiny & fortalicious [as in, like a fort - you know, for kids]. The general consensus between mat & i is that... forced to decide between known [to us] religions, we choose HINDUISM. yay reincarnation!saturday...went to chinese new year festival in the international district... saw northwest taiko - cool cool cool! i want to be that cool, but with better outfits... is that too vain? spent the rest of the afternoon in the uwajimaya book store... mmmmm japanese design! followed by udon. yummy yummy udon!i was determined to head out to the merc, but as fate would have it, i worked out like a maniac [think flashdance, but to better music - i had headphones... mr oizo's analog worms attack, to be exact]... needless to say, i was entirely too exhausted to get all cinched up for the evening. instead we decided to, uh, turn in early... hehe.sunday...woke up deliciously late & then went to the gym - more mr oizo fueled exercise. afterward i made an exciting dicovery... subway has veggie patties! could this weekend get any better????? i think not!

HA!

i truly believe this is the best 'i saw you' i have ever seen...DEAR VIOLENT LONERPlease stop harrassing the children of our neighborhood. We are trying to celebrate jesus pony day and you are totally wrecking it every time. 2959------------------------------------------------------------------------waaaahahahahaha!

job prospects...

i have two new possible web contracts...small ones, but they'll get me through the rough spots i think. - one is pretty much a sure thing, it's just a matter of when they can get their content together - the other is unique indeed... [i'll tell you more about it if i get the contract]we should be meeting next week...keep your fingers crossed. i know i am.

insomnia...

can't sleep, i'm off to read my new iain banks book that mat's mother so kindly sent me for christmas from england [awwww!] - you can't get 'em over here[except for 'the wasp factory' which i read YEARS ago].hooray mr. banks! - your culture novels rock!whoa! i just did a search on mr banks... apparently they have gotten the rights to publish more of his books here in the good-ole-warmongering-u-s-of-a.[not so two months ago - happy news to go to bed with!]go investigate, i promise you won't be dissapointed[that is, if you like sci-fi culture novels :)]

journal-lurking...

went journal lurking this evening...never really did this to any [reasonable] extent before.found some cool people, cool cool cool.it seems the coolest ones are in LA... hmmmm. is it real?[signs point to moving away, east or west... i'm not sure]suggestions?

update...

i often realize that when i am not updating or contacting any of my friends, i am hermitting [my own word, you can borrow it if you like]. a close friend [erica] pointed out to me once, that whenever i am being a hermit, things are generally going pretty shitty in my life. she has proven her theory [through my actions] time and time again. hmph.the verbal contract i got... well, turned out to be what verbal contracts are made of... NOTHING. i sent the lady my proposal & she backed out. fuck, i was looking forward to being able to pay my bills. oh well, nothing i can do about it now - worrying isn't going to help me [this revelation came to me AFTER days of crying & excessive worrying - better late than never i guess].on a lighter note... i have been taking care of things i CAN control [NOT my financial situation]... such as super-duper house cleaning. i have cleaned all of my windows - inside & OUT [if you have been to my place, you KNOW what a job THAT is], steam cleaned two of the four floors i have been wanting to clean for ages now, re-arranged my bedroom [woo-hoo feng shui!] - it's lovely! i have also been working in my "garden" [i guess you could call it that], making my place a more liveable place to be. i have also been exercising [not so regularly, but vigorously] - strange but true. AND eating healthy - curiouser & curiouser! i am seeing myself slip into my thirties & i am determined to fight it every step of the way [a stranger guessed my age on saturday & it sent me reeling - until recently, i was regularly carded for cigarettes - note to self: do everything in your power to not get old].i have been avoiding the mercury, not really much to tell on the good news front, so i dissappear - i find it difficult to get all corseted & cinched up for the evening when i'm feeling this way. i worry that i cannot pull off my club persona when i get into these situations [so i avoid them - fucking coward]. why the fuck do i feel an need for a "club persona" anyway? it's a goth club for fuck's sake! shouldn't that be a safe haven for the discontent? on a happier note... mat has been lovely as ever & extremely helpful & supportive. we had a wonderful weekend... on friday we went to see an english band @ the crocodile... the divine comedy. it was fabulous - AND i saw some people i used to go to school with - they gave me free coatcheck [awwww... i was so touched by this gesture - it was invariably kind]. i also ran into a friend that i hadn't seen in YEARS... big don [not to be confused with little dawn]. it was great to see him again [he is taller than i remember] - i gave him my card, i hope that he will contact me soon so we can keep in touch [i have to admit, i am utter crap at keeping in touch]. saturday i spent the morning getting my carpets lovely & white again & cleaning all of my windows... whew, i was tired! met up with mat later that afternoon to exercise at the gym [it's amazing how quickly the stamina comes back to you] & then off to his place for an evening of red wine & xbox. FABULOUS! i have blisters on my thumbs... we played dead or alive, i especially enjoyed jumping off tall buildings to kick even more ass!on sunday we relaxed & took a long walk to the beach & all the way around lincoln park. it's funny, i live so close to the ocean but rarely go there; yet every time i go i find it exceedingly theraputic. strange. mental note: go to the ocean more often. today i watched the ghandi movie, i was enthralled, to say the least. it was inspiring [yet simultaneously depressing] to watch, it triggered something in me which made me compare my original goals to my current goals. vast differences. i have strayed far from my original intentions. hmph. need to work on that.

good news on the job front...

got a freelance web design contract.cool, cool. she liked my stuff & had all sorts of big ideasfor her site. yes, i got the contract - but it's only verbal.let's just hope that when she gets the proposal i sentout today [contract, prices, all the specs in a design doc & some mockups]anyway, let's just hope that she doesn't balk @ theprice & decide to pitch the whole idea.hope hope hope hope...[i need her to sign the contract - NOW!]

updating...

hey...i'm updating my address book...would you all email your contact info[address, phone, email, etc] to erika@molecularleveldesign.comthanks much...e

updating...

hey...i'm updating my address book...would you all email your contact info[address, phone, email, etc] to erika@molecularleveldesign.comthanks much...e

whew!

i think i applied for every design job on the planet today [i think i sent out about 60 or 70 resumes today - nationwide!] i changed my job search criteria & BLAM! loads of jobs - i was just looking wrong. woo-hoo!i'm bound to hear back from somebody - and quite frankly, i wouldn't mind moving to ny for a few years. yeah new york! or perhaps soak up some sun in california [valley of the plastic people] - i'm tired of being cold, broke & jobless.wish me luck!